(December 3, 2014)
The day had finally come. My mom graciously took time off from work to watch the kids so Cory could join me for my appointment. Not only did I want him there for moral support, but I have this funny way of misinterpreting everything that doctors tell me. He accompanied me to almost all of my OB appointments when I was pregnant with our kiddos, and there were times we would leave the office with two completely different ideas of what had just been discussed.
We were whisked back to an exam room as soon as we arrived, and then sat and waited. And waited. If I learn anything through all of this nonsense, it will probably be patience! Nurses kept popping their heads in the door profusely apologizing for making us wait for so long and were offering us tea and coffee. Apparently the doctor was doing a minor surgery prior to seeing me when ‘something came up’. I don’t really think you can be annoyed at the fact that your soon-to-be-surgeon is kind enough to take time to solve problems with his patients!
The surgeon was finally able to see me and did a thorough exam to see what he was dealing with and to make sure I was healthy enough for surgery. He said I seem to have what is called a fibroadenoma. Basically, a solid non-cancerous tumor. He said he is 99% sure that the tumor is NOT cancer. He could actually tell this by just feeling the tumor. Cancer tends to send out roots so the tumors have jagged edges and are not able to move around easily because they are anchored in. My tumor is very smooth and moves easily. Ew.
Then I received the best news yet… The tumor was too large to take out in an in-office procedure, so I would need to have surgery. Completely anesthetized and ignorant to everything that was happening. Cory was in shock when I told him that I was actually more worried about having to stay awake for the surgery than I was worried about it being cancer. I had a tiny cyst about the size of a pea removed from my stomach about five years ago and I almost passed out. It was not a pleasant experience and I was dreading having something roughly the size of a small lime removed while awake!
The reason I need to have this removed right away is because it is growing rather aggressively and I was told it will continue to grow if not removed. It has been two months since I discovered it, and with each passing day it seems to be getting worse. I am now actually experiencing slight pain from everything expanding so quickly.
The appointment went very well and gave me a lot of hope. I still struggle with worrying from time to time. I’ve had a few days where worry gets the best of me. There is no denying the fact that surgery always comes with risks. Then there is that 1% chance that the doctor was wrong and it really is cancerous.
I am always thankful for the trials God allows me to go through. Romans 5:3-4 says it so well…
Don’t get me wrong… This totally sucks. I would love getting to skip out on all of the garbage I’ve been going through, but I just hope that through all of this, I will come out stronger.